This week has been one of the hardest emotionally. 7 days of sitting, wondering, contemplating my existence. And I thought the two week wait was hard. What a mind f&@%.
This cycle was big because having done two before, it was THE determining factor with how we’d move forward. Our first cycle was ridiculously successful, although we never brought a baby home from it and it brought loss into our lives again. We had a false sense of confidence going into cycle 2. Cycle 2 tanked. So many eggs, so many fertilized, and it resulted in nothing but two 5 day poorly graded blasts which wouldn’t have made it to freezing. This cycle was the one to tip the scales. Was #1 lucky? Was #2 unlucky?
We threw the kitchen sink at our protocol. Saizen/Omnitrope, different priming, different meds, a different clinic, lab and doctor. I cleaned my diet up entirely for this determining cycle.
Well folks, the verdict is out. Cycle 1 was pure luck. Cycle 2 was unlucky, but not far off. Cycle 3….
We retrieved 14 eggs.
13 were usable/mature.
10 Fertilized
2 Embryos were frozen
We got two embryos. One day 6 4BB grade (picture perfect), and one less great embryo on day 7, a 3CB. Both usable. Not AMAZING or anything, but we have 2 shots we didn’t have before at having a bio child.
The stats (which I no longer trust, because I always end up on the wrong side of them) say that at my age (38, until tomorrow!), our 4BB has a 35% chance of live birth and our 3CB has a 25% chance. (source). I shared some info before, but here’s how it panned out in this study (it doesn’t note the day of the embryo, but day 7 tend to be less likely overall).
| Age Group (actual average age) | Good (AA/AB/BA) | Fair (BB/CB) | Poor (BC/CC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 25-32 (29.6) | 51% (27-74%) | 39% (23-56%) | 25% (0-55%) |
| 33 (32.8) | 58% (40-75%) | 34% (23-45%) | 26% (6-48%) |
| 34 (34.3) | 56% (38-73%) | 34% (24-44%) | 29% (11-47%) |
| 35 (35.2) | 54% (37-70%) | 32% (22-42%) | 26% (11-44%) |
| 36 (35.9) | 54% (36-70%) | 33% (23-42%) | 23% (9-38%) |
| 37 (36.6) | 55% (36-74%) | 31% (21-41%) | 21% (9-35%) |
| 38 (38.4) | 40% (19-62%) | 28% (18-39%) | 12% (2-22%) |
| 39 (39.2) | 35% (12-60%) | 25% (15-37%) | 8% (0-18%) |
| 40-44 (41.4) | 22% (0 to 67%) | 14% (3 to 28%) | 8% (0 to 20%) |
We haven’t decided whether we’d like to forge ahead as planned with a double transfer when the time comes, as the preparation is really extensive, but that’s a convo we will have with the doctor once we begin our priming for transfer #5.
So that’s where we’re at. We have a long-ish wait for transfer. Our clinic closes for the holidays so unless my cycle starts like yesterday, we will be looking at a 1.5-2 month transfer protocol prior on top of waiting another cycle to pass, so potentially 2-3 months to go before anything happens.
I truly hope year 39 brings more joy than sorrow. Today is my last day of 38, and I am more than ready to let this year be done, along with this stage in our journey.
In the meantime I’ll still be sharing here. Infertility doesn’t just cease to make you feel things when you’re in limbo. I also hope to share some more resources as the next month or so passes by (it also keeps me busy!).
Thanks to you all for continually checking in and following my journey. It has been the silver lining to this experience. Be sure to subscribe if you want a quick email when new posts drop!
Best wishes for an amazing birthday and for a magical and spectacular year ahead. ❤️
Happy Birthday to you for tomorrow! That is also my brother’s birthday! Today is his last day of his 30s! Hope you have a good day tomorrow!
Happy Birthday!! I hope you have an amazing year! Sending all the best wishes and prayers to the universe! 🥰🙏🏻